The business of celebrity

ant and dec

The fact that these two assholes are still on TV is only one aspect of what has become an established enterprise.

Whenever you turn on your TV, you will undoubtedly be greeted by some has-been celebrity practically dying for attention and presumably money. It will most likely be the case that he or she has not been relevant in the public consciousness for five, ten, maybe even twenty years, and you probably haven’t heard that person’s name aside from the horrible world of celebrity game shows. That being said, what are they still doing here?

For every celebrity who has actually earned his or her fame, there’s plenty of people who exploit the culture of celebrity in order to gain fame and a career, sometimes by doing nothing of worth to society. These people stay famous by appearing on game shows, comedy panel shows, chat shows, and reality TV shows. Britain’s TV lineup is dominated by these shows, and of those shows, reality TV shows are often the most shameless way of promoting fake celebrities. This is done in shows like The X FactorStrictly Come DancingCelebrity Juice (a show that I’m honestly surprised anyone actually watches), and I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, which I wrote a rant about during the very early days of this site.

Nothing says more about the UK’s torrid celebrity culture more than I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, which, despite being a mouldy cabaret of pestilent garbage, still remains a highly popular show amongst TV viewers, and perhaps that’s the only reason Ant and Dec are still on TV. I’ve seen them on TV many years ago, and I remember them for being some of the worst people on the planet. Even today it’s extremely baffling that they still have a mass audience. In fact, they are the worst examples of talentless morons who exploit public adoration of celebrity status for profit. Most of the “celebrities” on TV are either D-list celebrities (the famous for being famous celebrities), Z-list celebrities (people who at one point were genuine celebrities, but then plummeted to rock bottom and now only appear in TV), or just the kind of low-life slobs who always appear on reality TV.

This business of celebrity also seems to be the sole aspect of the career of the British comedian. Many of the most successful comedians are the ones appearing in comedy panel shows, where they can bank on the whole celebrity angle without doing much to earn it. Shows like Celebrity Juice survive on this business model, except the end result of that is trash TV, and that’s all those celebrities create. They pollute the airwaves with their self-satisfied fumes like the SUV’s of the entertainment industry, and gullible TV viewers continue to guzzle it up so much that they have no idea what they’re seeing or hearing.

TV isn’t the only platform they have. The real pulling power comes from the tabloids constantly spewing shock headlines about the celebrities that go on TV (often accompanied by sleazy pictures of them inside the newspapers). It’s the tabloids that make those low-lives famous because TV is all they care about. Therefore, the business of celebrity is heavily dependent on the tabloids because, despite being an extremely dated medium, they still have the potential to give people who didn’t do anything worth their fifteen minutes of fame, and if the tabloids aren’t enough, there’s always Twitter. After all, nothing exemplifies the increasing intellectual degeneracy of mankind more than Twitter.

The only reason celebrity culture exists in the way we see it today is that it has such an effective business model. If it accomplishes anything, it’s proving that you can never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator, and that’s the culture we’ve created here. The only consolation is that, after the worst of these celebrities die, nobody gives a damn anymore, but then that point is moot because there’s somebody to replace them, and on and on the cycle goes until the industry eventually collapses. Until then, expect here the names of fame-hungry charlatans over and over again for as long as TV exists.


5 thoughts on “The business of celebrity

  1. I find these comments interesting as I have had similar thoughts about celebrity. I do not understand why celebrities agree to take part in I’m a Celebrity Get Me Outta Here, the show seems to be based on humiliating these people and getting them to do disgusting tasks, while seemingly enjoying their discomfort. Many in the media also make reference to the fact that this and similar shows are also edited to control whether the public likes or hates the contestants. I am also confused why the media discusses the “iconic white bikini” in the show, as I feel that title belongs to the film Dr No.
    I also find many in the media also seem to unfairly praise these people. Their lives are continually discussed in newspapers and they seem to be given more opportunities than non-celebrities. It seems that any woman who has appeared on a reality TV show will soon release a selection of clothes and be described as a designer (do they actually design clothes? Or select designs they like from a selection?). It also seemed strange that a celebrity (praised for having a nice figure) was offered £100,000.00 to write a book (described as filled with useless advice), while many professional authors complain writing is no longer a profitable career. An accomplished stage actor recently complained that more celebrities were offered roles in theatre productions, rather than trained actors, and it seems like any celebrity considered a singer will be offered work in musical theatre. Ironically, many in the media will also complain people are only interested in being celebrities, even though it seems like this is an effective route to work in a creative field.
    I am also interested that celebrity comics were also included in this article. Comedians have complained that most TV comedy consists of panel shows, which usually include celebrities (why not exclusively comedians?). I also find these shows promote some celebrities over others. I have noticed one singer regularly appears on panel shows. While many guests have to complete humiliating tasks as part of the show, the singer has never done anything embarrassing. On one show, previous contestants had to kick a football into a goal while being electrocuted. When the singer appeared on the show, they used the same game, except it had been changed so the guests only had to twirl in a circle before kicking the football.

    • Wow! You’ve just described a mouthful. And yeah, it’s really sad that celebrities are taking over creative professions in the UK. I doubt that this is a completely a new trend, but reality TV has made this a grim reality of our diseased culture. I remember a time when we used to have real creatives in music,theatre, fashion, and what have you. Now the UK is so polluted by celebrity culture that the young generation have come to accept it as the norm.

      • I think there are creative people in music, theatre, fashion, etc., except the media seems to have more interest in Z and D list celebrities. There seems to be an idea that creative people (such as A list actors, musicians, etc.) are too snobbish and strange to be likeable in real life, while other celebrities are “more down to Earth” and like the public (which may or may not be true). This effect seems to be obvious in comedy panel shows. Successful and popular creative people are always ridiculed in panel shows (usually to “deflate their egos”), while other celebrities seem to be regularly praised and use the shows to prove they had a tough attitude (usually laughing along with vicious comments from the comedians). In some newspapers, stories are published regarding scandalous behaviour by successful creative people, while celebrities receive praise and publicity for little things (such as attending an award ceremony unrelated to their life and work or being praised for being multitalented for releasing a cover song and being given a role in a film). Weirdly, many in the media seem to encourage the saturation of celebrities in the media. A whole array of programmes seem to be developed specifically to display these celebrities, who are described as “friends of the show”. A commentator once claimed the entertainment industry has formed a “new establishment”. This comment was made following an episode of a satirical panel show which sneakily referenced a celebrities’ drug habit, a joke the public would not understand, unless they were, as the commentator claimed, a person who worked in entertainment.

      • It’s just sickening how the media sees creative people as less important than the sleaziest low-lives of the celebrity industry. Is it any wonder that the nation is getting dumber ever year?

      • I have recently watched a TV show which featured celebrities (such as comedians and reality TV stars) reacting to controversial and strange TV programmes from earlier years. One of the participants was the former leader of a political party famous for containing prejudiced members. It seems slightly disturbing someone known for leading a party filled with racist, homophobic and sexist people would be seen as a celebrity.

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