We live in a society where a lot of our values conflict with each other. In this case, society is pretty squeamish when it comes to sex, but our culture is so obsessed with and permissive about sex, that being a virgin has somehow become undesirable in the eyes of many. Of course, the fallout from this hypocritical, self-contradicting attitude towards sex is obvious, as many young people are now rushing to lose their virginity, with or without protection, and many of those young people now know the hardship of being parents before they’re ready.
Of course, when it comes to teen pregnancy, the media has a two-faced attitude. The media treats teen parents with harsh disgust, while simultaneously glamorizing young love, and seemingly encouraging early sexual activity in teens. Either way, it’s the parents that are constantly worried, whether it’s for the wrong reasons or for the right reasons.
With all this in mind, I think we should ask ourselves two questions.
- What’s wrong with being a virgin?
- What’s so great about sex that it has to be rushed?
As a society, we have advertised sex very well, whether it be through raunchy music videos, or through conservative, attention-seeking old men and women pretending that sex before marriage is bad. The problem here is that it’s worked too well. In Western society, we now have an attitude that sex is somehow the be-all and end-all of existence, and all this serves to ostracise and lower the self-esteem of young virgins, some of whom may end up caving in to peer pressure, and if they’re not careful, having children they didn’t want (never mind that abortion is an option, but most of these youngsters ignore it, and have the baby anyway).
In general, find the whole attitude of having sex as soon as possible to be completely illogical. Wouldn’t it be best to wait for the right romantic partner, as opposed to losing your virginity to some moron, or worse, a guilt-tripping gold-digger, and marrying said person just because it seems right at that point in time? It’s a simple matter of common sense that, unfortunately, is constantly ignored by a society gone astray.
I’m not trying to say that anyone who has sex at a young age is automatically reckless. There may be some who are more careful than many others out there, and are happy that they made their choice. I’m merely trying to say that society’s hypocritical attitude towards sex is causing more and more young people to be reckless, to the point that the United Kingdom has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in Western Europe. It’s not as though we’re the only nation with this attitude. America has the same hypocritical attitude (though in America, it manifests itself in more childish ways), and they have the highest teen birth rate in the developed world, and their rate of teen pregnancy was even higher during the so-called “happy days” of the 1950’s.
From my personal experience, I can honestly say that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin. It has its downsides, but it’s certainly better to wait for the right time than to recklessly try and rush yourself into a sexual relationship, as so many people often do. I also don’t see sex as anything worth brainwashing entire generations for. Say what you will, but I think that the only reason sex is such a big deal now is because we’ve been told by a the Catholic Church for a thousand years that we can’t have it, and now that we can, we as a society don’t know how to handle a liberalized attitude towards sex.
Of course, due to the pervasive brainwashing of society, many people still see virginity as undesirable (unless of course you happen to be religious), but if you just dive into a sexual relationship with just anyone, or if you think you need to start having sex before you’re 20, you’re only conforming to social norms and caving in to the media’s brainwashing. If I have any advice to offer young people, it’s this. If you’re going to do the deed, then it should be because you really love someone and want to, not because doing it while you’re young sounds cool.