Love and sex are not the same

As we all know, today is Valentine’s Day, and in that spirit, I think it’s time I wrote another post about love. Unfortunately, our culture has become corrupted by the undue influence of the highly sexualized media, and so many people have come to conflate love with sex and sexuality, almost as though love can’t exist without sex.

I can’t exactly blame people. All we only see two kinds of relationships on the mainstream media: either young love, or supposedly mature adults acting like children. We’re also bombarded by reinforced messages from pop stars, unrealistic sexual imagery, advertising, and a host of other subliminal influences.

In reality, emotions are a lot more complex than a pop star would have you believe. For instance, real love, as in the emotional sense, would look something like this:


And yet many music videos will only really show this:

false love

That guy must be up to something. Either the guy’s a wh*re or the girls are.

The only reason the media only focus on the “sexy” aspects (which themselves are a matter of personal taste anyway) is because they seem to draw our attention. This, I feel, is critical to understanding how our cultural perception of love became corrupted by corporate influence.

There really are two definitions of love, but do the popularity of pop, R&B and soul music, the aggressive marketing campaigns from sleazy competitions like Disney, and the tidal wave of rom-coms and sitcoms, many people have come to see love as only sexual.

Both love and sex are things that are a part of life. In the past, we accepted this, but I think that as we’ve begun to forget this over the past few centuries, many of us are craving more and more titillating fantasies of sex and romance, some of which can’t be achieved in the real world. This means that society’s current, sex-oriented perception of love is based on a misunderstanding; in this case, failure to separate fantasy from reality.

I wonder if we’ll ever get it right, but I think that much of the problems come in when you have the wrong perspective on love, sex and relationships in general.

Unfortunately, as my experience tells me, things like these are difficult to learn about. You either learn from your parents, learn from your peers, or you figure it out for yourself. I wish it could be different, but the sad truth is that this is the way things are, and it’s not something I can change.

Of course, this doesn’t justify what the media and the pop stars do at all.


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