Why Channel 4 officially sucks

channel 4 indent

I’ve been familiar with the five major UK channels for as long as I’ve had TV in my life, and from my experience, I can safely say that all the major channels suck. While Channel 4 isn’t the worst of the bunch (that would be Channel 5), there are still a number of things that bother me a lot, and that’s the subject of this post.

There are many reasons why I’m actually tired of this channel, so I’ll break them down individually.

It tries to hard to be edgy

For a long time Channel 4 has prided itself on “original programming”, but all it ends up doing is pretending to be edgier than the other channels. It pretends to be all about diversity in a time where diversity is now all the range. Like any other TV channel, Channel 4 is all about ratings. All other TV channels go to certain lengths to hide it, but with Channel 4, the “alternative” veneer is such a pretentious way of hiding it (and I mainly say this about their overall style, and their pretence of doing what nobody else does).

The celebrities

Channel 4 doesn’t really much appeal, and in Britain, when something lacks any sort of appeal, they resort to lowly celebrities like Gok Wan or Jamie Oliver. Speaking of that, why does Channel 4 give so much support to chefs like Jamie Oliver? All he wants to do is make sure that everyone cooks and eats his way, and British celebrity chefs like him don’t give a damn about freedom of choice.

Aside from them, I also get rather tired of famous hacks like Alan Carr, Lauren Laverne, and all of their tired celebrity presenters. Not to mention that when Big Brother used to air on Channel 4, that channel became all about celebrities.

The programmes

None of the programmes aired by Channel 4 have had any lasting appeal. There used to be the occasional documentary, but most of their documentaries are either about trashy, important topics that you’d have to be a moron to give a damn about, or boring political crap that doesn’t really matter to most people anyway, regardless of their intelligence.

Programmes like Come Dine With Me and Coach Trip air incessantly, and those programs are bereft of any sort of entertainment. Other programmes, like Hollyoaks and 24 Hours in A&E, are so repulsive from their advertising alone that I wouldn’t even think to watch them anyway, and Channel 4 is full of programmes that give a horrible impression.

I only ever bother going to Channel 4 for episodes of The Simpsons, but even then…

They censor some episodes of The Simpsons

The nail in the coffin, however, is that they’re apparently big enough wusses to censor certain episodes of the Simpsons, even if some of that censorship doesn’t exist on Sky 1. For example, in “She Used to Be My Girl”, there’s a scene where Kent Brockman is supposed to say “this just in, I’m pissed off”. Sky 1 will show it uncensored  (since it’s relatively minor), but Channel 4 won’t, since they think children are utterly sensitive. Newsflash, The Simpsons isn’t strictly a kids show. It’s a show that can be enjoyed by virtually any audience. That’s one of the reasons why that show was great in the first place, but apparently the small-minded network executives can’t see that.


Most British TV channels are basically complete trash, and maybe one day I’ll talk about one of the others (because Channel 5 is even worse), but I feel that Channel 4 is ultimately cockier than the rest, mainly as a result of its veneer. Many of its programs are toxic and exploitative, but then again, I could say the same for its competitors. Either way, Channel 4 is just unappealing, and that’s one of the reasons why I don’t watch a lot of TV.


5 thoughts on “Why Channel 4 officially sucks

  1. Yes, you are totally right. I hate our shitty TV. I know Eurotelly is worse (even though I can’t understand what the fuck they’re on about) but that goes without saying. Pandering, pseudo-edgy, ultra-low brow, Mung bean fodder.

  2. Channel 4 censored Homer telling Patty and Selma “You slags are all right.” I’ve forgotten the other truly pathetic examples of censorship that I’ve noticed. Sky One are hardly better though.

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