For some bizarre reason, one thing I’ve wanted is to live the classical “wife and three kids” kind of family. I don’t know why, it just sounded right. But there’s one thing noticed lately, that Hollywood seems to have a two-faced view on marriage. On the one hand, it single-mindedly promotes the monogamous lifestyle, and especially taking the woman’s side. On the other hand, it also enforces the message that marriage is a death trap for men, with only women getting the good end of the deal. And don’t get me started on Two and a Half Men’s overly cynical view of marriage.
I’ve done plenty of thinking on this particular subject, and I came to the conclusion that, since marriage is an agreement that both the man and the woman enter, then marriage is only as good or bad as the people who enter it. By that, I mean that a bad marriage occurs when it’s entered by stupid and/or overly selfish people. A marriage is good when the people in it both genuinely love each other and will do anything to make each other happy.
There are plenty of characters in mainstream TV shows and movies (mainly sitcoms) who go through incredible lengths to mask the fact that their afraid of commitment. Charlie Harper, Kate Wales (from Anger Management), Brian the Dog, the list goes on and on. The way I see it is that if you’re afraid of commitment, then it’s obvious that monogamy isn’t right for you. I just wish that characters who feel that way would say “nah, marriage isn’t my thing”, rather than masking their fear of commitment.
But you know what, I don’t think that such people exist as a majority in real life. Most people don’t have such an extremely selfish view when it comes to marriage, because most people aren’t as twisted as the Hollywood stereotypes.
The way I see it is that marriage is a social contract with only one purpose, to unite two people together based on a mutual commitment of fidelity. Being that it’s the case, I think that marriage should be entered by people who have given it much thought, are actually willing to commit, and are actually happy to be with each other for more than just sexual attraction.
The problem with the modern perception of marriage is that it’s based on two things.
1. The last generation rushed into marriages and careers. The baby boomer era basically rushed into a marriage because they were expected to get married at some point, and in a primarily religious culture such as the culture of the 70’s and 80’s, this was inevitable. Some of these Baby Boomers went on to have a role in Hollywood, and if they had a bad marriage, then they will take their frustration and pass it off is truth.
2. Some people marry purely for the materialistic benefits, such as insurance benefits, and the illusion of social acceptance.
I believe that marriage only looks bad to some people due to those people believing the Hollywood stereotypes. Dude, it’s Hollywood, they’re masters of lies, and it’s practically their job to keep us distracted from critical thinking.
Overall, If you’re going to marry the woman you love, then you should give it some thought, and consider whether or not you really want to spend the rest of your life with her. If you don’t, then you could end up with a rushed marriage that will only last for as long as you have to look after a problem child.