As a boy with autism, I felt like it was my solemn duty to look into the whole MMR vaccine controversy. For those of you who don’t know, let me fill you in. In 1998, Dr. Andrew Wakefield (who shouldn’t really be called a doctor) published a “research paper” which proposed the theory that autism was supposedly linked to the MMR vaccine. You know, the one you give your children to immunize them from measles, mumps and rubella?
Of course, now we know that his theory was bogus, and his research paper was a hoax. However, as a result of this whole fiasco, millions of parents worried that their child could “catch” autism from the totally necessary vaccine. This led to two things.
- A drop in vaccination rates
- The rise of the anti-vaccination movement
Championing the anti-vaccination movement was actress Jenny McCarthy, who I first heard of as a recurring character and guest star in Two and a Half Men. Anyway, there are three words I would best use to describe her: “wh*re”, “ugly”, and “complete idiot”. Seriously, I have no idea why Jim Carrey ever married a girl with the IQ of Tickle Me Elmo.
Before you ask, Jenny McCarthy is a “wh*re” by virtue of her being a Playboy model. Yes, I’ve seen her on Two and a Half Men, and I think that she’s greatly overrated (God, the face just doesn’t look real). I say she’s a complete idiot because: (a) she has no idea that that Wakefield’s report is a hoax, and (b) she seems to think that autism can be cured.
In recent years, I’ve begun to see my autism not as a curse, but as a blessing. Sometimes I think that without it, I’d be just another thoughtless @sswipe who doesn’t respect women at all, and gets drunk and fights a lot.
What people like Jenny McCarthy and Andrew Wakefield need to realize is that autism is not a disease to be cured. Anyone who thinks that there can be a cure for autism obviously has a toxic little mind that needs some therapy.
To be fair, my dad told me that he and my mom noticed that me and my brother somehow stopped talking as infants before we were diagnosed with autism, and that was two years before the whole nasty incident began. If I did get the MMR vaccine, and it did cause the autism (which all scientific evidence says it didn’t), then I might actually have to be thankful, because if I didn’t have the autism, I’d probably be just another idiot who watches reality TV.
If you ask me, if anything needs to be cured, it’s the ignorance of people like Jenny McCarthy.