Why it’s time for Mario to dust off his cap

WARNING: I do not hate Mario, nor do I hate Mario games (except Mario Party 5). I’m just giving a rational reason why Mario’s had his glory day, and should make way for other, better heroes. As always, you’re entitled to your opinion, but this blog is about mine. Before you even think of trolling, read the comment policy, and you’ll know what I do with trolling.

haters gonna hate

Since 1985, Mario has been the darling of the gaming industry, to the point that any Mario game ever released will sell millions of copies. Even the spin-off games can make a fair bit of money. Mario has also become a stereotype of gaming, something I can’t stand whenever it happens.

To clear thins up, the early Mario games are still great. I can still enjoy any main series Mario game that came out before the year 2000 (except Super Mario Bros. 2). However, let’s not forget that Mario is the poster boy for Nintendo, so they’re more than likely to whore him out. So now he’s joined the club of big league, money-grubbing corporate prostitutes, alongside Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse, Barbie (especially her), and Sonic the Hedgehog.

What do I mean? Every year, Mario comes out with a few games, and every Mario platformer that ever gets released is, I shit you not, literally the exact same thing as last one that comes out. Remember when Super Mario Galaxy 2 came out? If you do, then you’ll also remember that it’s nearly identical to the original.

  • Same gameplay
  • Same people behind the music
  • Throwbacks to the previous game (which by then was only 3 years old)
  • Same power-ups (with extras)
  • And a ton of other things

Every Mario Party game that ever comes out will be the exact same formula as the original. They did try to change it in Mario Party 9, but really? 9 games? Really? I was fine with Mario Party 8. Have you seen the advert for New Super Mario Bros. U? If you did, then did you notice anything in that advert that seemed odd? If you haven’t worked it out it, then I’ll kindly spell it out for you. It’s the same exact game as New Super Mario Bros. WiiThe only difference seems to be the fact that you can utilize the GamePad to make blocks. Don’t you think something might be wrong here?

bling bling

Oh. My. God. He’s not just a whore, he’s a full-blown pimp!

A couple of Mario games get shelled out every year. Don’t believe me? Here are the games that got released between 2002 and 2012, listing the years in backwards order. Count them up each year as you go back:

2012 – Mario Party 9, Mario Tennis Open, New Super Mario Bros. 2, New Super Mario Bros. U, Nintendo Land, Paper Mario: Sticker Star

2011 – Super Mario 3D Land, Mario Kart 7, Mario and Sonic at the London Olympic Games, Fortune Street
2010 – Super Mario Galaxy 2, Game and Watch Collection 2, Super Mario All-Stars 25th Anniversary Edition, Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Mini-Land Mayhem, Mario Sports Mix

2009 – Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympic Games, New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Mario and Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story

2008 – Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Dr. Mario Express, Dr. Mario Online Rx, Mario Kart Wii, Game and Watch Collection, Mario Super Sluggers, Mario Power Tennis (New Play Control)

2007 – Mario Party 8, Super Paper Mario, Mario Strikers Charged, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games, Super Mario Galaxy, Mario Party DS, Itadaki Street DS, Mario Kart Arcade GP 2

2006 – Super Princess Peach, New Super Mario Bros, Mario Hoops 3-on-3, Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis, Yoshi’s Island DS, Tetris DS

2005 – NBA Street V3 (Gamecube), Mario Superstar Baseball, Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix, SSX on Tour (Gamecube), Mario Kart DS, Mario Party 7, Super Mario Strikers, Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time, Yoshi Touch & Go, Mario Party Advance, Mario Tennis Power Tour, Dr. Mario and Puzzle League, Yoshi Tospy Turvy, Mario Kart Arcade GP

2004 – Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Mario Party 6, Mario Power Tennis (Original), Mario vs. Donkey Kong, Mario Golf: Advance Tour, Mario Pinball Land, Super Mario 64 DS, Yakuman DS, Super Mario Bros. (GBA), Dr. Mario (GBA)

2003 – Mario Party 5, Mario Kart: Double Dash, Mario Golf Toadstool Tour, Nintendo Puzzle Collection, Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

2002 – Super Mario Sunshine, Mario Party 4, Yoshi’s Island: Super Mario Advance 3, Game & Watch Gallery 4

The list speaks for itself. Mario was especially a game industry whore in 2005, when Nintendo signed a deal with EA for Nintendo intellectual properties to appear in EA Gamecube titles. Those titles would be NBA Street V3 and SSX on Tour. Keep in mind that this list only counts games that have the Mario character in it.

If that isn’t good enough evidence, then I don’t know what is. I’m probably not going to buy a new Mario game, and if I buy a Mario game at all, it’ll be an old game, and not a new one. My point is that Nintendo has been whoring Mario out for quite some time, but it’s gone to the point where it’s insufferable. But what you need to remember is that it’s our fault. All of us are to blame for the Mario franchise going this far. Nintendo loves to milk its own franchises, and will do so whenever possible. By constantly buying Mario games every year, we’re giving Mario and Nintendo, all the power to do as they please, and without any consideration for artistic integrity.

I for one have had enough of it, because it’s ruining the good name of gaming, and preventing it from being taken seriously as an art form. Not to mention, the only reason this is allowed to continue is because Mario effectively saved the gaming industry from total collapse in the 80’s. Let’s face it, Mario hasn’t really evolved since then. It’s the same basic principles, with the same adventure every time.

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