The Apocalypse will not happen tomorrow – now stop worrying and enjoy your life!

Tomorrow is the day that only a tiny fraction of the idiots on our planet believe that the world will come to an end. The reality is that the 2012 apocalypse will never happen. Tomorrow is just another day, and I’m here to tell you why.


Yes, this means Roland Emmerich’s “2012” is more of a sham than it already was.

Let me move on to my first point: there is no celestial alignment happening tomorrow, and even if there were, it would be too far away from us to cause the annihilation of humanity. And really, a celestial alignment? Of all the things that 2012 enthusiasts say will kill us, meteors, ice ages, pandemic, etc. When all those fall flat on their asses, they suggest a celestial alignment? Or a pole shift? What kind of ridiculous logic is that?

The whole 2012 apocalypse is always assumed to be based on the end of the Mayan calendar. What kind of stupidness is this? It was just an outdated form of the calendar, with a purpose no different to that of the current calendar, and yet when ours end on December 31, we don’t scream “it’s the end of time”. We just make a new one, which is exactly what the Mayans would have done on December 21st 2012: celebrate the end of the old cycle, and the beginning of the new one. They would not panic and kill themselves just like that. Do you want to know were this madness actually came from? The prophecies and the date all come from:

  1. Distortions of the Mayan calendar
  2. Two new age hippie books from the 70’s and 80’s (which is where the date came from)

What’s even more insulting is the fact that some people alleged that the Mayan calendar predicted some of the worst events in recent history, after the hoax started, and after those events already happened. This officially makes the 2012 apocalypse a hoax.

And you know what else? It’s just another stupid prophecy. Fortune tellers and prophets get plenty of attention from the media because of their supposed powers. But any idiot can claim to be a fortune teller, and they can find out how on the internet. Try not to be afraid of the future in this regard, because people have tried, and failed, to predict the apocalypse at various points in history. In the year 1833, a preacher by the name of William Miller believed that he predicted that the second coming of Jesus would occur in the year 1843. This sounds familiar doesn’t it? It’s the exact same trick as today’s 2012 apocalypse hoax, with one difference: it was a national movement. That is one of the stupidest reasons to establish a national movement I’ve ever seen. It’s like if they made a national movement based on the myth that Obama wasn’t born in America.

tea party

Oh. They already have.

But wait, this sounds like an awful coincidence. The whole 2012 thing didn’t become big until around 2003, after the “Planet Nibiru” prediction failed. Let’s see the timeline:

1992: Harold Camping publishes a book called 1994?, using it to proclaim that the second coming of Jesus will occur in 1994, and that the rapture will happen on May 21, 2011.

September 6, 1994: The day passes, and Jesus doesn’t show up.

1995: Nancy Lieder, founder of ZetaTalk, puts forward the idea that a planet-sized object (later named “Nibiru”) will crash into Earth in around 2003.

The late 1990’s: Scaremongers in America begin to release disaster survival books about a “Y2K disaster” scenario. The media in general begins to capitalize on the Y2K myth, and many movies, comic strips, video games, and TV shows begin cropping up.

January 1, 2000: Y2K never happens, and the people celebrate the new millennium, and breathe a collective sigh of relief.

May 2003: Nibiru fails to show up, and the date is abandoned. The date in which planet Nibiru is expected to arrive is changed to coincide with the already existing “2012 apocalypse” theory.

November 13, 2009: Hollywood releases the disaster movie 2012 as a way of capitalizing on the people’s fear of the 2012 apocalypse, to critically scathing reviews. The film made $769,679,473 in the box office, proving the idea the the cinema-goers are morons.

May 21, 2011: Harold Camping’s prediction of the rapture proves to be false. It was the very same prediction he said would come true in 1994. He later changed the date again, to October 21, 2011. The rapture again doesn’t happen.

Doesn’t it sound odd to you? First, Y2K fails to come true in the year 2000, then Nibiru falls flat on its ass in 2003, and then the Rapture doesn’t happen in 2011. That means only one thing: the 2012 apocalypse will also fail to come true, and every apocalypse prediction ever made will always be wrong.

We should stop falling for this apocalypse crap. If we want to enjoy life so much, why do we obsess over when we’re all going to die? Do we just want a day where we can let loose? Do we want to prove God is real? In today’s society, none of that matters. The point is, if we all fall for this crap again, we’re letting the media exploit our fear and inject us with paranoia. And besides, if people are just going to keep changing the date for the apocalypse, then it should be obvious that the apocalypse will never happen at all. We should just try to forget about it and enjoy our lives, because if we keep drowning ourselves in fear, we’re easier to control, and far more likely to commit suicide anyway.

They make for great fantasy stories, but stories are all that they are, and if we stop taking them seriously now, we can shoot for a brighter tomorrow.


2 thoughts on “The Apocalypse will not happen tomorrow – now stop worrying and enjoy your life!

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