Santa-sploitation

santa cola

Don’t even try to say it’s not a commercial. We all know it is.

I already mentioned how Santa Claus wasn’t a part of Christmas to begin with, and how Santa Claus is only still around for parents to use to parents to control their kids. But there’s a side to Santa I feel I need to address; the exploitation of Santa Claus, or as a like to call it, “santa-sploitation” (a word I made).

We know that the image of Santa Claus is in the public domain. That is, nobody owns copyright for Santa Claus, meaning that you can use his image for free. The Coca-Cola company has been doing exactly this since 1931. They’ve been making posters like the one shown above, and they slap his fat, jolly ass onto every can and bottle of Coke they make in December. Dear God and Christmas Christ, the Coca-Cola company may as well own the rights to Santa’s image.

There’s also the issue of any other company being able to use his image. Any movie, any TV show, any game, or god forbid any pornographic video or image can.

Oh God, did I just mention…

Why would Santa need this?

The image above says exactly what I’m trying to say; the freely available image of Santa Claus can be sexualised at any time. A more perverted individual would say that the “santa babe” craze is relatively harmless. To be fair, it’s not really hurting anyone, and it doesn’t count as objectifying women (no matter what you feminists say).

In fact, you could say this is objectifying Santa Claus. This is made even worse by the fact that there exists porn featuring a dude dressed like Santa himself, enjoying some sweet softy love from girls like the ones in the above photo.

Because do you really want to be shown a picture of Santa in the worst way possible? I thought not.

There is also a hell of a lot of merchandising based around Santa. There’s nothing wrong with the Santa Christmas decorations. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with the occasional Santa toy. Hell, a Santa suit would pass (unless it’s a Santa suit for ladies).

But America is famous for taking the whole merchandising thing way out of proportion. How? Would someone kindly explain this?

santa toilet

The only good thing about this thing is that it’s a comedy gold mine.

I could make a bunch of snide jokes about it, but Cracked.com already did just that, and better.

The bottom line is, there’s got to be something wrong with Western civilization with all the rampant exploitation of a beloved character. I mean, how would they like it if I went around making a King Kong urinal and had it installed in the restrooms of public schools? They would hate the thought of it, but they apparently have absolutely no problem with a Santa Claus toilet seat. If Jesus were around, all this commercial exploitation would make him feel sick to his stomach.

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