Santa Claus is just a tool to keep kids in line

the church of santa claus

“Ho, ho, ho kids! It’s your lovable dictator, Santa Claus!”

It’s 15 days to Christmas, and by now every parent has fed their kids the same myth, “Santa Claus is coming to town. But it shouldn’t take a genius to figure out that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Not only that, but parents literally lie to their kids about the existence of Saint Nick. Don’t believe me? Here are the most basic parts of the Santa myth:

  1. Santa lives up in the North Pole
  2. He can deliver presents to every child in the world in one night by stopping time
  3. He can see you when you’re sleeping
  4. He knows when you’re awake
  5. He has a list which he checks twice to see who’s “naughty or nice”.
  6. He gives coal to the naughty
  7. He rests for every day up until December 24

There’s no conceivable evidence for the existence of Mr. Claus, and yet not only does NORAD have a “Santa Tracker”, but parents have continued to perpetuate the lie that he does exist – to children. Why? Because it’s useful for them to get kids to be obedient little scamps for one whole month in the year, because it isn’t “Santa” who delivers the presents, it’s the parents, which means they have to get additional presents for their kids in order to perpetuate the lie.

Parents use the myth to get kids to behave, that’s the use of a lie to get kids to do what you want, which is highly unethical. For your sake, let’s call it “The Santa Trap”. Here’s how the Santa trap works. When Christmas season starts coming in, the parents tell them the story of Santa Claus, and tell them that “he will be bringing presents for him” if they conform to the parents’ expectations. To do this, they create the illusion that he is watching them, and will put them on the naughty list for only a few “bad acts”. The extreme version of this, which fundamentalists might enforce, would be some kind of vengeful, old testament Santa Claus.

An exact visualization of what I just said. Also, he is the Christmas Pope.

This means that the parents are creating the illusion of some almighty, god-like spirit who can freeze time so that they can control them, something I find morally unacceptable, and I think it’s irredeemably bad parenting. Not only that, but for me, it’s a dead giveaway that “Santa” is actually the parents.

It should be obvious by now that the myth of Santa Claus benefits the parents rather than the children. But, it’s also been encouraging and justifying the mass-brainwashing our children at the hands of advertising by big, greedy, heartless corporations.

Santa Claus, discouraging healthy skepticism since 1863.


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